Hi Trishnanta, I m Navin. I m with Google for 4+ years now. So, Trishnanta.. Did I get your name right?
Me: Yeah. Its Trishnanta (Emphasizing on the first N. Something told me not to address him as "Sir"
I m ready with the answer if you want to know how I got the name, what it means, etc.
Mental Profile of Navin: 1. You are not young
2. You are definitely not hot.
3. Your french beard is intimidating.
4. You look like one of those proper corporate CV rapists who disguise themselves in semi formals.
5. I dont think I can even smile during the interview forget about being funny)
Navin: Ill give you certain phrases. Please make necessary grammatical changes wherever necessary.
(You are hating my essay arent you? I wrote two in 45 minutes and I m sure there will be more errors than strands of hair on my head )
Me: Sure.
Dictation continues for 5 minutes and I hated every sentence structure. I couldnt believe I wrote SO horribly and still passed that round. After correction and his 2 minutes of verification the drama was about to unfold. My one month of mental preparation, expectations from myself, gathering the "tips", it was time for the first job interview of my life to begin. I felt blank and just decided to maintain eye contact. (It might have come across as a desperate stare)
Navin: In this session or let me call it a conversation,
(You make it sound like a date. But the word "conversation" comforts me.)
I think Ill be able to understand what kind of skills you possess.
(Yes. You will understand in 20 minutes what I couldnt understand for 21 years of my life.)
Me: *gives a faint half smile* Yeah sure.
Navin: Ok. If we conduct a grammar teaching session as a part of your job training and teach you things completely different from what you have been learning for good 15 years of your life, how comfortable would you be?
(Is that a question? For a second I thought you'd just talk and ill do the eye contact part.)
How comfortable would you be?
(Trish? Answer? It IS a question.)
Me: Yeah I think I will definitely be comfortable. If the job profile demands such kind of training I think ill undo what I have learnt and learn the new things taught to me. I m not saying it will be easy but I think Ill be able to do it.
(WTF happened to "tell me about yourself?"and "Give me a quick run through your resumé"?? NO. This was not how it was supposed to start.)
Navin: Ok your CV tells me you organized events and were a part of press and publicity for the fest "Constellation". can you tell me how you went about it?
Me: (without taking a moment) *Gives details about the science club and the fest*
(Back ground thoughts while speaking:
Wtf is he writing in his book? Is he even listening? Is he noting down all that I m saying? He is raping my mind. YES, these recruitment people get paid for having sex with people's minds. I m SO fucked.)
Navin: Ok. Any situation where you had to take an unpopular decision?
(Situational question. Screw you. Unpopular decision? When did I ever take any? FUCK. Why are you doing this Navin? why? Tell something now, Trish)
Me: (At this point I introduce vidyouth)
Navin: Oh yeah I can see in your CV- I m sorry I have to keep getting back to it- So what do you do for vidyouth?
Me: (Sigh. Something I rehearsed , atleast)
Navin: I see you have done some good work in Cell biology. Ofcourse, who doesnt know about Shanta Biotechnics?! (The only time he smiled during the interview. It felt good.) Why do you want to shift to a different field?
Me: (I fucking knew this question would come up. I KNEW.) Life science has always been a passion (I used it. I used that bloody word) I was always into life science but in due course of time I realised I also have a knack for creative writing and communication oriented things and thus this decision.
( That suicidal look on his face tells me I should shut up and fuck off. Someone help? *sobs* The naiyya of my confidence has a hole.)
Navin: Ok what do you know about the job role you have applied for?
Me: An adword representative has various responsibilities which include checking the ad content for content, quality and accuracy. He/She also deals with the google advertisers' portfolios and provides excellent customer satisfaction.
(I m only telling you what I read yesterday. You have no idea how much I have googled google for google. Whoa! just came up with that)
Two to three more situational questions and we came close to end of this "conversation".
Navin: I m done. Anything you have in mind that you want to ask?
Me: Well, what exactly are you looking for in candidates?
(It was like asking "Why was I here, again?")
Navin: Well, we are basically looking for enthusiastic people who have a keen interst and drive for their job role. (and I have none)
I cant reveal further because of confidentiality issues but in the broader sense these are the qualities. Does that answer your question?
Me: Yes. definitely.
(Leave me. I wanna go home. I m famished)
We shake hands and I come out of the room. Good or bad, it was over.
PS: I succesfully screwed and got screwed in my first job interview. Oh wait! Cant call it a rape anymore, can I?
