The great "About me" debate!

"Please tell us something about yourself"

This is the first and indeed the most dicey question in a job interview. It essentially makes or breaks the deal. And that got me thinking..

Somehow I always put this thought on the back burner. Sometimes due to sheer procrastination, sometimes just because of the fear of the whirlwind of thoughts that might follow, but the time had finally come to sit and witness this debate between all the alters existing within me. All wide awake even at the stroke of midnight and each of them providing their unsolicited advice about the perfect "About me". Here's an excerpt:

Lethargic me: About me eh? Um.. Aa.. hmmm.. uh.. well.. uh..

Sensible me: Think, think. Who are you really? What makes you, you Trish?

Sarcy me: *filing her nails* And finally someone is saving their grey matter from undergoing oxidation.

Lethargic me: I am well.... let me think.... Passionate?

Sarcy me: You should drown yourself in a tube well the next time you use that word. That can rank so high on the "World's most irritating cliches" list.

Lethargic me: But it is the truth. I M passionate. About Music, about French, about writing. What better word than that? Tell me?

Sarcy me: Even your Kaamwaali bai is passionate about Jhaadu Pocha. I think you should send HER for the interview.

Sensible me: Ok ok! Why is it so hot in here? Relax Trish. Calm down. Just delve into yourself and think of how best you can describe yourself

At this point, I went blank. It was a face shaking blow of reality on my nose. 21 long years of being with myself and I couldn't describe my own self to my own self? What was it? Lack of introspection or lack of words in my vocabulary? or is my character too vast to comprehend?

I must have described at least 50 people in my blog, in 1024 characters long testimonials, in letters, in my diaries, in poems. But whats stopping me now? Irony of this situation was hard to digest.

Sensible me: Ok. Ill suggest something. Why don't you list out things you like about yourself? I think it will make things easier.

Evil me: She HATES herself. She is an insecure, confused, indecisive piece of shit *gives a triumphant smile*

Sensible me: Just get your ass out of this room. At this rate she will never be able to think of good qualities, leave alone listing them.

Evil me: Ok. But I shall return. Muhahaha!

Lethargic me: Qualities.. (After a lot of ohh's and umm's) I think I can make fun of myself without making a fool of myself. Makes sense?

Sarcy me: Glad to interrupt but say that line in front of the interviewee and he shall hand over the appointment letter then and there. Take my word lady.

Sensible me: Can we keep sarcasm aside for a moment please?!! Anyway coming back, can you think of a more- at the loss of a better word- job oriented good quality?

Lethargic me: Enough is enough. I cant take this anymore. *bangs her fist on the table* I m telling you cliches are the safest bet. Ill say I m confident even when I feel insecure about future every night. Ill say I m optimistic even when my optimism goes for a toss even with a slight mood swing. Ill say I m a team leader even when I can't effectively manage a class of 36. Its FINE. You get it? Cliches WORK.

Sensible me: You know what's your problem? You don't want to take chances. You are lazy even to think about yourself. *turns her back*

Lethargic me: I m not a very bad person, am I? Then why is this whole exercise becoming so difficult for me? *Gets choked*

Pessimistic me: Nananananananana *hums* You're a bitch. A dimbit. You know it.

Sensible me: STOP IT YOU ALL. *screams her lungs out* Shucks! This is going nowhere. Ok! See, people must have told you about your positives. Try remembering those at least? Sounds good?

Lethargic me: Yeah! Sounds good. Well, XYZ told me I m confident, YZX told me I'm smart, ZXW told me I can maintain my calm even in stressful situation and yeah, YWC said I m awesome *smiles*

Sensible me: (Phew! The fog is clearing!) Good good. Its going good. Think a little more on these lines and your "About me" will be ready. *puts her hand on lethargic me's shoulder*

Lethargic me: But wait! I donno if i m all that. NO! I have too many flaws.

Sensible me: Have you heard of that four letter word? Love? God created it coz he is perfect and we are not and that's why only love can help us accept imperfection and deal with it. Not that you should be happy with imperfection but accept it. Love yourself for who you are and for the way you are made.

Sarcy me: Excuse me? Is the "World cliche championship" going on here? Oh my god! Save this world from the tyranny of cliches.

Sensible me: *Turning to sarcy* The thing is, some cliches even though cliches, are true.

Sarcy me: Here goes another one. *holds her belly and laughs*

Lethargic me: Why should there be so much debate? Why cant "I m what I m" suffice?

Sarcy me: Because its a fucking job interview not Facebook or Orkut, bitch.

Sensible me: and above all, its life my dear. Its life.

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- Thanks to Bharat, who gave this idea. You rock re Pascal. :D

-Also mildly inspired by a blog post I read long back which is called "A life altering rendezvous" (suggested by Prakky dearest :D)

Before and After

First year, first semester

6:30 am: *Alarm rings*

6:45 am: Out of bed

7:40 am: Breakfast on the table

7:45 am: Bus stop

9:00 am: College corridor.

Final year, final semester

9:00 am: "The kids are going to school. Ask your friends if your College is really closed."

9:05 am: One eye half open. *Phone vibrates* Soniyo: Biochem class in Room No.68

Lazy me: "Ja re! Who'll go to college today?!"

Sincere me: "You have a lab test, moron"

Lazy me: "So? I decided yesterday itself I m not going"

10:30: Window shopping in lifestyle

11:30: Sitting near cool club sipping fanta

12:30: Imax

3:30: Home

"Yeah Mom. College was so hectic" :D

Why its good to weep...

I took the stairs and went to my favourite spot. The top most point of the terrace, the over head tank where sat gulping a large amount of air. The view was picturesque as ever with all the numerous well lit houses, a so called pond near the railway tracks and the Dargah on top of the Mauli Ali ka pahad. It instantly calmed my inside.
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5 minutes ago
"I m so bored already. What will I do till 18th?!!" I said serving the evening tea to everyone. "Lose some weight. 15 days is a lot of time" said my mother. Yes, truth hurts. "Yeah! Ill join a gym soon" I said, the volcanic activity waiting to begin. "Its been one and half year since you stopped working out" mom continued the topic. "Did she go while you were here?" mom turned to Nani. "After a lot of ass kicking, yeah!" she said in a cold tone. They shared a look. The volcano inside me was completely active. Lava waiting to ooze out. "I m going up to the terrace" I said slamming the door as hard as I could.

I swore so loudly I bet even god heard my colourful expletives. Of course, I did it in my mind.
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All my emotions popped up like several chat windows. Am I really SO irresponsible? What am I really? A 21 year old ugly fat bitch?!! (Name calling. One of the 13 types of crooked thinking in psychology terms.) I donno why my age had to matter here but some ugly part of my brain brings up this number every time I sulk. What impression does Nani have about me? Why should it even matter? but it somehow did. Tears automatically rolled down my cheeks and continued till it became a noisy weep. I suddenly looked at my harem pants and thanked the person who brought this into existence. So comfy, so belly dancer like!
When I remembered what I was doing, I wept again like a baby and did it till I decided the watershed was enough for the day. I blew my nose in the sleeve of my T-Shirt and rubbed my eyes till I felt no one could make out what I was upto on the terrace.
Like other forms of dehydration, weeping too felt relieving.
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2 Hours later

Glabubibila: Hey! Waddup?
Me: Hey! I m munching Lays and bourbon biscuits are waiting in the queue. :D
Glabubibila: Haha. Awesome. You can never stop eating, can you?
Me: I might if you give me a better option which I think doesn't exist. :P
Glabubibila: You win. :D

Moral of the story 1: Hum nahi sudhrenge!
Moral of the story 2: Don't blow your nose in the sleeve of your tee. It stinks.

PS: I was jobless! And yeah, Glabubibila is a fictional name.

The libran man..

The libran man. He will essentially disarm you with his effortless looking yet well practised flattering skills. And if that fails to work he'll give you a logic that HAS to make you fall on your feet and smile helplessly with defeat. And just in case you survive the logic, the smile will do it. The point I m trying to make is the magic is bound to happen. You are bound to admire the magic of this man and I have one in my life too. :D

Insanity is his first name and weirdness his last and he never fails to live up to his 'name'. From writing a blog post on his ceiling fan, writing an intense conversation between him and his room to offering his hair for Deccan chargers to climbing Mauli ali ka pahaad in chappals (I m sure this is just the tip of the iceberg :P). If one person has redefined insanity for me, its him.

And the temperament part! In all these months of knowing him, leave alone anger, I havent even seen him getting pissed off! (Has anyone?). Photugraphy, Creative writing, Adventure, Hyderabadi hindi or women (:P)..mention of any of these and that twinkle in the eye is hard to miss!

Childlike yet so mature..
Insane yet retaining his sanity..
Naive and yet so much finesse..

This man has a balance which is rare to find. It's really hard not to fall in love with him.
And the name is Govindasreenivasan Prakash.

I m so glad I have a friend like you Prakky. All the lou from this Bong!

PS: I hate you for making me sing a bong song and the quotes you include in foodie. :P