AN ODE TO RTC buses.....

well, I always thought journey in RTC buses can make great stories(remember stamps and brakes?).There's drama, emotion,action,sex(read intimacy)... in short it has every element for a perfect masala story. So this post focusses on my experiences in RTC buses and some conclusions drawn out of them.

To begin with,there are different degrees of crowded buses,

primary : when you can stand(and only stand) comfortably and look out of the window and comfortably make out where you are.

secondary: the next stage, the crowd is relatively greater and you can touch your jeans pockets without hitting anybody's face.

tertiary: Oh yes, you will stand somewhere near the driver's seat and you wont get to hold any handles because there are atleast 6 people between you and a handle..

quaternary: first of all, god was feeling really generous and thats why you got into this bus and then leave the rest to him.

You are between atleast five XL asses and they churn you,mix you grind you so on and so forth and there are chances of many kinds of injuries like

* your ribs can get damaged while some fat asses are trying to get down at their stop.

* due to the continuous stamping, your feet may start looking like one of those flat chappals which have the worn out soles in the end .

* while some female is trying to relocate her dupatta, you might get a mighty blow and loose all your teeth.

these are just a FEW possibilities

Note: quaternary degree is worser than molestation.

Now i'll describe the different type of crowds in the buses:

the i-have-a-boyfriend crowd : It consists of girls who are glued to their cell phones whispering sweet nothings into their beau's ears and the volume .... well.... even if you stick their lips to your ears you cannot make out what they are speaking..

the conductor-is-my-jaani-dushman crowd : It consist of those who will definitely have a fight with the conductor.... high volume,high temperature, heated argument,blame game, exchange of.......ok i think you get the picture

the i-have-a-cellphone crowd : these people will play the cheapest songs in the bollywood history so that everyone in bus knows they HAVE a cellphone...and what kind of songs... some timeless classics of himesh reshammiya if they are feeling good and or else they can stoop down to Altaf Raja also..(of Tum Toh Tehre pardesi fame!!

the curious crowd : They want to know everything... "are you sure it will go there?""which route does this bus take?'"do you think the condition of buses will improve?""where are you going?""are you working or are you studying?""will conductor give my chiller?" ..........phew..

so thats about RTC buses...

Yes, It has been a roller coaster ride (literally) in RTC buses... I've had the WORST of experiences, but I know it will always make my college life unforgetable.*laughs*