Why its good to weep...

I took the stairs and went to my favourite spot. The top most point of the terrace, the over head tank where sat gulping a large amount of air. The view was picturesque as ever with all the numerous well lit houses, a so called pond near the railway tracks and the Dargah on top of the Mauli Ali ka pahad. It instantly calmed my inside.
-------------------------------------------

5 minutes ago
"I m so bored already. What will I do till 18th?!!" I said serving the evening tea to everyone. "Lose some weight. 15 days is a lot of time" said my mother. Yes, truth hurts. "Yeah! Ill join a gym soon" I said, the volcanic activity waiting to begin. "Its been one and half year since you stopped working out" mom continued the topic. "Did she go while you were here?" mom turned to Nani. "After a lot of ass kicking, yeah!" she said in a cold tone. They shared a look. The volcano inside me was completely active. Lava waiting to ooze out. "I m going up to the terrace" I said slamming the door as hard as I could.

I swore so loudly I bet even god heard my colourful expletives. Of course, I did it in my mind.
-------------------------------------------

All my emotions popped up like several chat windows. Am I really SO irresponsible? What am I really? A 21 year old ugly fat bitch?!! (Name calling. One of the 13 types of crooked thinking in psychology terms.) I donno why my age had to matter here but some ugly part of my brain brings up this number every time I sulk. What impression does Nani have about me? Why should it even matter? but it somehow did. Tears automatically rolled down my cheeks and continued till it became a noisy weep. I suddenly looked at my harem pants and thanked the person who brought this into existence. So comfy, so belly dancer like!
When I remembered what I was doing, I wept again like a baby and did it till I decided the watershed was enough for the day. I blew my nose in the sleeve of my T-Shirt and rubbed my eyes till I felt no one could make out what I was upto on the terrace.
Like other forms of dehydration, weeping too felt relieving.
---------------------------------------

2 Hours later

Glabubibila: Hey! Waddup?
Me: Hey! I m munching Lays and bourbon biscuits are waiting in the queue. :D
Glabubibila: Haha. Awesome. You can never stop eating, can you?
Me: I might if you give me a better option which I think doesn't exist. :P
Glabubibila: You win. :D

Moral of the story 1: Hum nahi sudhrenge!
Moral of the story 2: Don't blow your nose in the sleeve of your tee. It stinks.

PS: I was jobless! And yeah, Glabubibila is a fictional name.

The libran man..

The libran man. He will essentially disarm you with his effortless looking yet well practised flattering skills. And if that fails to work he'll give you a logic that HAS to make you fall on your feet and smile helplessly with defeat. And just in case you survive the logic, the smile will do it. The point I m trying to make is the magic is bound to happen. You are bound to admire the magic of this man and I have one in my life too. :D

Insanity is his first name and weirdness his last and he never fails to live up to his 'name'. From writing a blog post on his ceiling fan, writing an intense conversation between him and his room to offering his hair for Deccan chargers to climbing Mauli ali ka pahaad in chappals (I m sure this is just the tip of the iceberg :P). If one person has redefined insanity for me, its him.

And the temperament part! In all these months of knowing him, leave alone anger, I havent even seen him getting pissed off! (Has anyone?). Photugraphy, Creative writing, Adventure, Hyderabadi hindi or women (:P)..mention of any of these and that twinkle in the eye is hard to miss!

Childlike yet so mature..
Insane yet retaining his sanity..
Naive and yet so much finesse..

This man has a balance which is rare to find. It's really hard not to fall in love with him.
And the name is Govindasreenivasan Prakash.

I m so glad I have a friend like you Prakky. All the lou from this Bong!

PS: I hate you for making me sing a bong song and the quotes you include in foodie. :P

Love - The most hated emotion in the world!

Note: All ideas expressed here under are my very personal opinions. If it happens to hurt any reader's sentiments, I beg your pardon. I love love and I would love to be in love.

Teenagers in love -"Is this the time for love?"

College goers in love- "No love till you stand on your feet"

Love at work - "How could you? at your WORKPLACE? :o "

Intercommunity love- You probably have to do a Chetan Bhagat 250 page drama for this.

Older woman- younger man - She practices black magic and he is the victim

Younger woman - Older man - Whats wrong with Amitabh Bacchhan? Arey umar ka toh lihaaj karo?!!

I m not even going to touch the last and the most dangerous territory, extramarital escapades..

In 2 States, Chetan Bhagat focuses on the problems faced by people from different communties in love but I wont BEG to differ the problem is not the different communties, its love. Whether we like it or we dont, love is a bigger taboo than sex in India.

Valentine's day sees dramatic tod phod by certain self declared guards of Indian culture, beating up of people of opposite sex walking with each other. The deeper psychology I think is the hatred towards love not the culture erosion.

If you are in love, you will be termed characterless. Love is described with derogatory phrases like Unka toh kuch chakkar chal raha hai or Tum dono ka scene kya hai boss? or the word affair is prefixed by "alleged". Why not call them criminals and hang them to death? Sadly, even heinous acts like those are rampant in the remote parts of country.

Although love marriages are common in the country all the gossip hungry aunties will emphasize on the word love in a way that every letter will get its due phonetic respect preceeded by a large snake mouthed "O". And I m sure these aunties paid 100 bucks and sobbed till they blew their nose in the pallu watching Kajol and SRK's highly dramatic unison in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Even secretly envied to have a love story of their own but these aunties will still come home and tell their daughters "Dont be too friendly with boys"..

But wait, dont we still have couples all around us, of course most of them being clandestine affairs except for the celebrity love stories which are discussed by pan waalas and elite kittie party aunties alike. "Why does she like HIM? He has two kids no?" "When is Rani getting married? Isnt she 32 already?" but celebrities also enjoy societal liberties when it comes to the settling down age bar. They can have triplets at 42 but no one will give a damn about it but If pados ki ladki is single and over 28 then she is seen as a 50 year old and "no suitable matches" anymore. Love is 'bad' but "Why dont they get her married?". What are we? Stock market shares? Today market up, tomorrow down?

And if she is earning her bread and doesnt want to get married yet, she is either lesbian or "too independant" or worse mentally retarded. Sigh. Why does society have to stand up for meaningless rights and wrongs when there are much more troublesome rights and wrongs to look after? Why cant you go and advice an 18 year old about whom to vote instead of how much distance he/she should maintain from the opposite sex?

Oh yes, coming back to love (digressions I tell you!), it is one of purest emotions in this planet and deserves an equal share of respect like the motherly, brotherly, cousinly and all the other kinds of love you can think of. But I conclude saying , If friendship is intermediate with BiPC, Love is PHD. in Oral Cancer. (Thank my bio passion for the similies)

You either do a Chetan Bhagat to win the love of your life or literally FALL in love!

The phone call..

"Your father told me you have become the Bank Manager of SBI. So I thought I'll have a few words with Madam Banker" said my grandfather on the phone. FYI I recently opened an account in SBI and the news reached my grandpa through obvious sources.

I just laughed out loud at the banker joke. It was strange but this particular joke suddenly broke the ice between us and for the first time in my life I FELT for my grandpa. A strange connection. Not that I hated him before but I was never close to him. In fact I was thought him to be a cold, irritable man. As a kid whenever I visited Gorakhpur (A place in U.P where my granparents have been living for 47 years now) he came across as the one who'd always have a problem with everything. "Dont go to the terrace, you'll create a mess" "Why cant you children just sit peacefully in one place?" "Dont eat too many sweets its not healthy" etc etc and naturally I had an unusual bend towards his wife, my late grandmother, who was exactly the opposite. Full of life, food loving, "let the children do what they do best, shaitani" she used to tell.

But today was a different. "I thought for 20 minutes before making this call. Whether I should make it or I shouldnt. You know, I never really got to know my grandparents but you all are so lucky we are there.Anyway, call me tomorrow morning around 9:30 and tell me details of your account. I'll try my best to help you. See all your cousins are working. If you want to pursue higher studies you need money no? " he said continuing to specify the purpose of his call. I dont care about the money grandpa its your concern that touches me, I wanted to say but sometimes its best if you keep the sentiments to yourself. "What happened to that 10,000 I had sent last time? You have deposited it all no?" he continued, I didnt want to say I shopped for 5000 bucks for Durga Pooja and had no idea where the rest of the amount was but I had no choice but to lie. "Yes yes of course Dadu!"

I dont know whether it was Kailash's songs or the food in Chilly's which made me so emotionally charged but yes, for the first time in my life I had 100 gm lump in my throat as grandpa spoke these words. "A man who used to speak for 8-9 hrs a day in his 12 hrs of duty has no one to talk to for 20 minutes at a stretch now.(Sighs) Its very lonely you know. I m 80+ now and there are lots of problems. My eye sight is decreasing. I think its cataract! " he said with another sigh. "Why dont you come here and stay with us. See grandma is here and she is very happy. So many people to talk to, so many things to do, I m sure you'll like a bit of change" I said meaning every word whole heartedly. I saw the negative response coming but I still waited for his response. "Travelling is out of question mitu (my pet name). You see I had a reservation that time but I fell sick. My health wont permit travel now" he finished. As this point the lump in my throat doubled in size. Even I'll be 85 one day, will it be really lonely? Why am I so self- centered? Why cant I think beyond myself and my life? I have to visit granpa I thought to myself as the conversation almost came to an end.

"Now give the phone to your baba and dont forget to call me tomorrow ok?" he said with that typical caring grandpa tone.

...... The phone call stirred my inside. I made two resolutions:

1. Call him atleast once a week and listen to him talk. (Granpas love that! Infact everyone does)

2. Visit him ASAP. The old man needs this the most.

Clichés and me

Dont try too hard
"Why do I feel I m trying too hard?"

Just be yourself
"I think I m blabbering more than I should"

Dress well and dress comfortable
"That top is gone for a wash dearie"

Make sure your hair is neat
"Wtf?!! Why a bad hair day today?!"

Less is more
"Omg! Dont I look like a christmas tree?!"

Be confident
"Can I please bite my nails?"

Observe the body language
"Shit! How did I forget that?"

If it is destined it will happen
"DO something you moron!"

Smile
"Um.. Well.. The chocolate sauce is still stuck to your front tooth"
"Yeah? Thanks!"(a forced embarrased half smile)

Dedication special continues..

Soniya a.k.a Madso a.k.a Bijli a.k.a Maal :

On a not-so-serious-note : My lesbian sister --> My girlfriend --> My Newly wed wife -->very soon mere hone waale bacche ki maa :P There would be very few in the class who dont know about our 'alleged affair'! My Bijli has played all the roles in the best way possible and I couldnt have asked for a better life partner. And please stop sighting other girls, atleast now? For god's sake? :D

On a serious note: Her blog actually gave me an idea of the vastness of her thoughts, her power of touching people through words and all the pain she conveniently camouflages behind that endearing smile. If someone has fallen for you I m sure that smile must have played an instrumental role in it. Love you forever Soniyo!

Prathiba a.k.a Drakula a.k.a Biker a.k.a Drako

On a not-so-serious note: "Amma! Piccha lite you take re. :D Dil pe MAT lo yaaron. Everything will be fine. Main hoon na!" I dont know how many times I've told this to her. I hope she 'takes lite' someday! :D

On a serious note: That element of genuinity in her character, the unconditional love she gives, for having a heart made of platinum (gold is passe! :D) and for always amazing me with her beauty.Love you ma! Cheers to our Shanta memories! :)

Sowmya a.k.a Catso a.k.a Meow a.k.a Showme (derived from Somi :D)

On a not-so-serious note: President of A.P Cat Lovers society, showme, I think, dreams of owning a cat farm in Kerala some day :D One cat in the vicinity and madam goes weak in her knees.

Will never forget the trip to the garden in your adda of B.H.E.L and SLN Bakery! But why are you SO tall baba?

On a serious note: A real sweetheart. Love Meow! :)

Vidya a.k.a Prasadam a.k.a Gundu Rao a.k.a Vidso

On a not-so-serious note: She laughs, laughs, laughs and she laughs and all of us freak out when she doesnt. I double up in size each time she laughs at my zokes (good and bad).

On a serious note: She has waited for me for hours together and hasnt uttered a word. The nerd of our group. Dreams of I.A.S!! Has the fire in her to make it big. Good luck buddy. You have it in you! :)

Sr. Jisha

The mother of our gang (I mean it quite literally). At home its mum, in college its sister. An integral part of our group and someone who is always ready to kick our lazy bums. We respect and love you sister! :)

If there are people who make francis worth going to, it is these people.

Can we all repeat graduation again, please?! I dont wanna part with you guys :((

*group hug*

PS: Post 'inspired' by the eternally insane lefty's blog. :P

Reality-Imagination-Reality

The pituitary gland is located below the hypothalamus of the brain. It consists of two distinct parts-the anterior pitiutary and the posterior pitiutary connected by pars intermedia. Hypothalamus is a specialized centre in the brain that functions as a master coordinator of hormonal action.

Flickering blue lights, loud music in the background and he, sitting beside me. 8 tequila shots and I was a uncontrollable, blabbering shit and he, trying his best to persuade me to leave, embarassment evident on his face and the glistening beads of perspiration were hard to miss. The high was different. It started off as a bet. A bet to show off my alcohol gulping ability! Ofcourse it back fired but how many times do you get a chance to get drunk avec votre amour?! 'People speak the truth when they're drunk' Will I?

FOCUS
FOCUS
FOCUS
Hypothalamic hormones:
Six types:
1.Thyrotropin-releasing hormone (TRH)
2.Corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH)
3.Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH)
4............................
(One look at the wall clock. 12:40?!! *yawns* picking up the phone. "Stop. Nah! Ill text weirdo at 1" :D )

I laughed bosteriously, my head peacefully rested on his shoulder. It was the best feeling on this earth(after the alcohol high!). "I think I should take off my stilletos and hold it in my hands. Wat say?!" "Heyy! Handsome! Lets go for a little walk. I think overate or over drank?!" i said with a alcohol-induced lisp followed by a my-joke-was-funny laughter. "I think we should go home now. You need some sleep dearie! We'll talk tomo?! Come lemme drop you home!" he said with his signature smile. That smile! Mon dieu! Its that smile that can make me do anythin. I obliged. As we walked, my left hand rested on his shoulders and swinging on my right were my beige stilettos. I began, "You know the first time I saw you in that Black formal shirt and blue jeans, I fell in love with you. Without knowing who you were, what you did, without knowing anything. I have dreamt of dating you since then. I love you mann!". He eyes bore into my face, his stare remained for a few more seconds and even with the alcohol effect I could feel the intensity of his black eyes. "You are too drunk sweetie! Come, lets go home. Your bed's waiting!"............
........................................................................................

Shit!
Hormones?! Chuck it man! I m sleeping. *yawns and stretches*
Distractions. Sigh.

21 Random/Weird things about me

1.I have this habit of preserving the gold foil wrappers of dairy milk. I preserve them in memory of the sinful chocolate consumed.
2.I always have this feeling that I look nice only in loo mirrors. (Home loo, Friends' home's loo, multiplex loo etc :D)
3.Talking about the loo, I hate the new bright yellow light bulb in my loo. It almost blinds me when I wanna pee in the wee hours of morning.
4. Extending point 3, I like the word pee. It makes 'it' sound so cute and childish. Not at all like "Madam Tailet Madam"!
5. I completely believe in what Mr.Ronald Fernandes (our placement instructor in college) once said "People make impressions about you all the time. Whether you like it or not!"
6.When someone says "You've lost weight" I feel like recording it and listening to it 100 times a day.
7.Life is biyatch. It loves sitting in a corner and rolling on the floor laughing at you.
8.It happens every night. I almost fall with sleep before hitting the bed and once i m on it whoosh!!! Sleep vanishes!!!
9.I dont care, want to or try to listen to computer classes but my "YES MAAMM!!" will be the loudest when Ma'm asks, "Is it clear?"
10. I dont understand why some people should be so active! Sit back, sit for hours together on the same couch, sleep at odd times and for unusually long and once in a while, IF the need arises, work a little.
11. I sometimes tell my parents "Listen to me and you will come up in life" and they nod like brain washed kids.
12. I DONT know why people feel comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts, desires (I dont want to use the word secrets) with me. Sometimes it feels weird!
13. I dont know why some people dont hug! Stretch your arms and smile, thats it. Is that a big deal?!!
14. I have given up on impractical hopes and it works wonders!
15.NOTHING beats an intellectually rich and humourous conversation. It keeps me charged for the whole day!
16.Sometimes you dont have to explain, it shows or may be, feels.
17.Some people will never understand my feelings for food. Its not just about appetite. Its a serious passion, tremendous involvement and a luxury. A luxury for the taste buds!
18. I cant sleep without smsing someone. I JUST cant! Its like a lullaby.
19. I LOVE bold, gutsy and rebellious people. I want to be one someday! *Sighs*
20.I might forgive but I will never forget!
21. The whole girls-should-not-reveal-their-real-age-and-should-reduce-it theory is the most stinking bullshit on this Earth. Ill turn 21 and I dont mind shouting from rooftops about it!

D- Reloaded!

-For doing combined studies on sms and motivating each other before every single exam.
-For smsing everyday and smsing before sleep (sbs as we like to call it) almost every night unless something important like sleep came up. :D
-For getting drenched on your birthday, singing a besura birthday song, cutting a pastry and gifting KK.
-For coming to my place on my birthday and singing a song.
-For being able to share every significant, completely useless, random details of my life with you.
-For calling you ugly and getting away with it completely unharmed. :D
-For discussing every teeny weeny detail of an episode of SouthPark and loving it whole heartedly.
-For asking about my headache/legache/stomach ache and asking if I took a pill.
-For showing me your cutest childhood picture and I falling for it. :D (the pic above)
-For endlessly paying for litchi thanda, zinger and many more etcetteras.
-For recharging my phone at 3:30 am with 55 bucks.
-For having a head as big as my room. :D
-For discussing food for hours together and drooling.
-For fighting just for fun, sometimes arguing on silly things and making up!
-For listening to all the recorded songs of mine and commenting like a reality show judge. :D
-For linking you with your Kaamwaali Bai! (I m so sorry you couldnt make out with her :P)
-For telling me about Vy and being the worst and the best critic of all my articles!
-For letting me enter your dreams of getting into the I.I.M.
-For endless laughter, endless friendship and endless joy!
I love you very much Dinesh. You is my slothy beshtest besht friend! :)

Him!

Note: 1. This is not a poem, just mushy crap :P
2. Soniya says, "You cant keep such stuff in your stomach for long" and she is right! :D
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His smile can bring the dead to life,
His eyes can itself make for a poem,
His humour has to lift up your spirits,
His talk can be like a gentle zephyr!

Some say "You're in love",
Some say "You're mad",
Who cares about what it is?!
when it feels so good!
feels so good to be sitting alongside him,
feels so good dreaming incessantly about him.

Call me mad,
call me obssessed,
call me what you like,
but what I like will not change,
why I like wont change.

So stop calling me names
and pray!
pray that I get him,
pray that he gets me,
and pray that we become 'us'! :)

Everyone says, "I m fine"

Rajiv was like any other guy of his age. Since his college days he dreamt about working with a MNC, having a decent pay packet and saturday nights in a hip pub with his best chums. Ofcourse, he worked with an MNC, took a decent pay packet home at the start of every month but happiness was a distant dream. It was all fine till his girlfriend of 3 years dumped him a month back and at work place a senior claimed his project as his own, got promoted and became the cynosure of all eyes for being the 'mastermind' behind the project.
Rajiv was always an atheist and the present circumstances deepened his disbelief in the superpower. He had been in several relationships before and once they ended he moved on like it was last night's dream. The present situation was however different. There was not a second he wouldnt think about her.Early in the morning only one name revolved in his mind and he often analyzed what went wrong. Was it all his fault? Did he by any chance hurt her, unknowingly? If there was something she wasnt happy about, they could have talked it out! Why did she have to severe all ties in a 3 minute phone call? All these thoughts jammed his brain, they haunted him. He had been through so much pain in the past month that he almost forgot its sensation.He felt a deep void, like a hollow inside his body. He hated this feeling but there was nothing much he could do about it. It was like walking on a circular path, the farther he went, the closer he came to the starting point.
He was surprised by his own behaviour. Since college days he was always known as the happy go lucky guy amongst his friends. He never bothered himself with emotional turbulences nor was there any reason to cause that botheration.
As he walked through the lane leading to his office a zephyr gently stroked his face. He realised he couldnt remember the last time he sat on the terrace top of his house and enjoyed the sunset. It was amazing how his brain controlled the course of his life.
Entering into his office building he avoided looking into people in their eye. He almost reached his cubicle when a voice spoke from behind, "Hey Rajiv! How are ya doing man?" said the cheerful voice. Rajiv managed to give a genuine looking smile and responded "I m doing fine.Thanks".
Indeed, there were just a few who knew what amount of pain was hidden behind that smile.

Ache-ne

"Why are you getting so many pimples?" said Mom after closely examining my face by turning it from one side to another. I hate such rhetorical questions more than the pimples, if you ask me.How am I supposed to know "why??" Do you think I silently pray every night "Please god bless me with some pimples.I m bored of my flawless skin" .Sigh.

But despite all these argumentative thoughts I managed to give an explanation."Mom, acne is caused by hormonal imbalance or stress. I m not the only one affected by it. So stop freaking out!" I said, but her look told me she wasnt interested in the biological background.Infact, it was all bullcrap to her." Hormones or whatever, it doesnt mean you'll do nothing for it" she added with an authoritative tone. The tone which comes very easily to mommies.

And from here begins the vicious cycle. Suddenly all the neighbourhood aunties, beauty parlour aunties, your mother's friends and even stranger aunties will start treating you like a tsunami victim, offering endless, self-declared fool proof remedies."Mix neem leaves and sandal. Excellent for pimples!!" I still remember how my eyes burnt when this remedy was forced on me."Why dont you try that soap? My daughter used it and look at her now!" said one aunty beaming as I aarrgghh-ed from behind."My ass.My pain" I thought but I kept these words to myself. There was one thing I couldnt deny.I was the guinea pig!

After trying countless dadi-maa-ke-nuskhe mom didnt give up nor did I in convincing her to stop experimenting on me but somewhere somehow her determination rubbed off on me. Every pimple cream ad filled me with hope."May be this would do the trick" I thought. My lethargy however held me.

Apart from the attention(which you will definitely not like) the tiny trouble makers also bring humiliation. Its almost like they become your identifiers. People will start knowing you as "Oh! that girl with pimples?!" or "That bad case of acne" or "That pimple ki dukaan?!". This humiliation also gives birth to envy. Not only others, your own snaps with a blemish free,radiant skin and the typical jaw-forced photu smile churn your heart and songs like "If only I could turn back time" start playing in your head. Sigh

On a more positive note, I sometimes think pimples lend an unexplained sexiness to the face. Call it an affirmation :D!

But I strongly feel the world could do without

1.Terrorists

2.Hypocrites and

3.Pimples