yet again....!!

Its an early stage .....and again i m filled with doubts from a very long time.....Doubts which are so difficult to put across ....coz i m scared...scared that I will land up in the same phase again...

May be its mere admiration....or may be i m thinking a bit too much...(as usual)....i thought i wrapped it all up in two days...but its continuously roaming in my head...probably the situations are driving me to brood so much about it....

I know its an absolute senseless expectation....it may hamper a beautiful bond....and also it may bring a lot of social hardships in the course of time and so i think i m capable enough to control those fluttering butterflies in the stomach...and remind myself of my priorities in life...

Her words were so right..."Everything will be good ....when he'll come..."....so i think i should stop thinking...and the only thing I can do is......go with the flow.....I trust the lord....

THE OTHER SIDE

The inner side unreachable,
The depth untouched,
The stories untold.
The voices unheard,

The lantern of my soul,
Illuminating the serene path,
The path leading to dimensions,
Dimensions unique and mysterious,
Dimensions leaving the room of thought.

Numerous boundaries created by man,
Boundaries on emotions,
Boundaries on thoughts,
Boundaries on the power of imagination,

These are worldly boundaries,
The foes of our thoughts,
The hurdles in imagination,
The evil boundaries of fire.

Crossing all the limits and barriers,
I walk through the path of life,
Sans all the worldly pleasures,
In search of my unanswered questions……….

Metamorphosis...!!

After sporting those long locks for almost 7 months ....i decided to break the monotony of my boring hairdo...


yea..i clearly remember the last time i went for a haircut...somewhere in august last year...it wasnt a very happy occassion...hmmm yea it was a fresh heartbreak...so i wanted something which would make me happy....any way....



This time there was only one reason....i badly wanted something different...so there i was ....surrendering my precious possessions to the stylist....yea...she looked quite hep with that tatooed arm and that trendy outfit....so..i kinda trusted her..i knew she wouldnt dissappoint me...



Then her scissors started moving around my hair and i was sitting waiting to push out those strands frm my eyes...i hate it when it falls on my face...its so damn irritating....she went on and on with her scissors with a phenomenal speed....at one point of time i felt...she'll chop off my ears...but that was a mean thing to expect from an expert.....finally she finished....and it was "Lovely..." the hairdo was cute ...it suited my chubby round face...

yeah...i was pretty happy.....


Thanks to her she not only gave me a new hairdo but a great confidence in myself...

a pic of mine with the new look would be nice isnt it...??

it'll be there very soon.....

SPIDERMAN-3 in my style.....

Yeah i m back ....but this time with something completely different....yeah..i m reviewing the latest flick SPIDERMAN-3....

Now that I have watched it twice....i thought why not write some thing about it....

DIRECTOR : SAM RIAMI

CAST: TOBEY MAGUIRE AS PETER PARKER/SPIDER MAN

KIRTSEN DUNST AS MARY JANE WATSON (MJ)

JAMES FRANCO AS HARRY OSBORN

Ok its a complete superhero movie.....this time you can even see spidey sobbing for his gal...but ....wait.....he doesnt miss out on those awesome stunts with his famous red costume......yeah...!! this time he sports an elegant black costume too.....thanks to a strange symbiote whose history is kept under wraps....but somehow it manages to enter mr.parker's room...

the most dissapointing scene of the movie...our superhero on a tacky two wheeler...ohhh...puhleez....i thought he'll have a nice bike atleast......probably the producer was bankrupt after lashing out so many dollars on spidey's costumes and special effects....ohhk....pardon me....no more digressions....

A little about people close to the protagonist....yeah..there's MJ who is peter's gal...who is an aspiring singer....Poor lass..!!she is too worried about wat the critics have to say about her song....but spidey is too busy saving others from dangers to listen to her woes.....yes...!! KAHAANI MAIN TWIST....she is lonely ,sad and deppressed.....so she relies on peter's best friend and tats HARRY.....a rich spoilt brat who ends up fighting with his best friend to take revenge for his father's death....sounds like a hindi movie..isnt it..?? well i thought indian directors copied english movies...but here's its the other way round....wot say...!!

Now there are two anti-protagonists who have done a good job..... they thrashed spidey so much tat his good luking costumes turned into tattered pieces of rags...i thought tats it...those were the last minutes of our dearest superhero...untill harry comes to his rescues...

The humour element is though not very extraordinary....but i would say not bad....well i must say the guy sitting next to me made the film more humourous by his non-stop commentary...

And the climax ....it was very "hindi movie like" .....very mushy....the guy next to me made the climax complete.. he said," NOW THERE WOULD BE AN ITEM NUMBER"....LOLZ....

Okay in short this one offers a little heavier dosage of meodrama...but full marks for PRESENTATION AND SPECIAL EFFECTS PAR EXCELLENCE.... well...mi advice...worth watching once..but not more than that.....

RATING : 8.5/10

THE BIG ONES ARE OUT...

yeah...i finally i managed to pass twelth class....

after that disastrous liason.....after that contagious stress from my peer group.....after seeing tears in my mum's eyes for the first time...after her continous prayers to god...for me and only me.....i now feel her prayers are answered...my marks belong to her...for making that piping hot coffee at 1 in the night....for cuddling me like a baby when i cried out my problems to her...for always telling me...that i can do it...!!....i know i did not score very great but still whatever my mark sheet looks like...it because of the epitome of strength in my life.....I LoVe U MAA....

déjà vu........

To err is human……and we beings take this as law….ignoring the fact that he is noting down every minute thing…. waiting to charge us with all of that when we reach there…

Talking about mistakes and the word etches out so many memories….past filled with mistakes I never thought I would commit….but they happened….and now when I go back to those days….I feel someone else did them…and I just stood by….like a helpless silent spectator…. witnessing those awful events ….yeah she said it right…..shame and fear are the two elements of conscience which stops us from making the wrong choices….but sometimes you surrender to the hormones or emotions….which are probably the biggest weakening agents

All the scenes are clear before my eyes….yes sometimes it is déjà vu….as if those noises of laughter, those dialogues are being played on the real player of the god gifted pc…sometimes I laughed at my myself ,sometimes just surprised with my moist cheeks….but I decided to go with the flow….probably that was the only way out…I do not wish to experience it ever again in my life.. the whole process was so emotionally draining….

I only hope to restore the faith….faith in myself…..faith in almighty…faith in people…and faith in the most beautiful emotion and that’s LOVE…..

clean bowled....

NOTE : the following post may exceed the permissible limits of mush for some people ......,so all those unromantic people out there ...!! try not to attempt reading this one...


As I was admiring the sexy black KARIZMA he sat on, I thought it was just another guy passing by....!! coz I was more interested in the bike than the person accelerating it....
but what folowed next made it an unforgettable visual treat......
The approximately 5"9' lad was wearing an off white tee-shirt with some metallic golden prints on it....and his jeans looked quite a branded one....I still did not get the chance to have a look at his face......he parked his bike in front of the food joint i was sitting in and finally took out that heavy duty helmet....My curiousity forced me to loose concentration in the conversation i was having with my friend..and she sensed something fishy...!!! I couldnt wait to shift my eyes to his face.......and once i did that.......................oh mi gosh.............i lost my senses........that short cropped hair,that infectious smile and that magnetic persona..........i felt my heart was racing to and fro in simple harmonic motion.........as if his presence was laying its tentacles on me and grabbing me as tightly as possible....As if cupid himself landed on earth and saying....,"babe...!!! aint he the one...???".......and then...............before i could speak a word.......the sound of a thunderous slap was echoing a 100 times in my room............................YEAH.....it was 10 am ......and it was my mom's fingerprints on my face...........alas..!!! what a climax...!!! worser than a low class bollywood movie...........any way......one thing is for sure ...if i ever happen to see him.....i would probably faint......MR.X whoever you are....you jus bowled me over.....!!! aha...!!! the most wonderful dream i ever saw .....

LAPTOP woes ...!!

After an hour long tryst with the reactions of glucose with other compounds ....the mind said.."DONT YOU WANT TO SEE WATS NEW IN ORKUT"....so i closed mi books and opened the door of my room and headed towards the laptop...but the sight is as usual disappointing...My dad is looking at the laptop with such deep concentration that a slightest murmur anywhere in the vicinity of his room can ignite the senses of furore in his cerebral hemisphere...its a risky job.... but i took the risk.....i quietly stepped into his room and sat behind him...My eyes bulged out from the socket to see if there was any chance of fulfilling the wish of mind...

....Well... he knows why I sit behind him patiently , trying to pretend that I had come there to ask about the progress of his work...Damn it...!! who is bothered about the rates of the products typed on his Microsoft work sheet .. which kid would be??? I sat there for a minute and then consoled myself saying ," Its not your day baby, may be some other time.."...god knows when that time will come and I come back to my room close the door and sit to write this.......WAT else.. it becomes my new post...!!!

An important realisation

MI dear feet..,
I dont think i can even imagine the struggle you have gone through in the process of bearing the burden of my extra pounds...but do not worry coz ur golden days are approaching very soon....as i feel really concerned for u.....and for ur golden days to come i think the focus shud shift to the belly....coz it has been leading a real luxurious life all these days...i have been pampering it day and night without realising its effect on you and the trauma u have gone through .....but my dear feet...u are an integral part of me and so i feel the need to be concerned about you ....and the day is not very far off when u will get all ur due rights...

adios

TEENAGE...!!!

The most complicated part of human life is being on the threshold of adulthood. It’s as if you have been pulled from your sweet and innocent childhood into a phase where you are supposed to behave like an adult and yet you are denied the status of an adult. Ironical isn’t it? It is at this stage of life that you will find a hundreds of hurdles to derail you from your track. When you go through this phase you may find yourself to be a victim of the “self-assumed” ruthless behavior of life but you fail to realize that all members of your peer group go through every part of this so called “ruthless” life. The important thing to note here is that when you have been pulled into it then why not face it and enjoy every bit of being a teenager. After all teenage is the most crucial yet the most joyous phase of life…
Insecurities are an integral part of teenage. Suddenly you find your shoulders are drooping down with the weight of responsibilities. You are absolutely clueless about making decisions for yourself because all these days you were laid back as this task was assigned to much more capable people than yourself. But “experience is the biggest teacher of life”. So you will find yourself to be enjoying the status of “adult in disguise” status. There is a first time for everything and you would genuinely agree with the fact that the first time can be so exciting. Like, the first time you withdrew money from the bank or the first time you travelled on your own or the first time you drove your dad’s huge looking bike. It is a feeling of an unusual pride and this pride will make you realize that you are no more a sweet and innocent kid but you have grown up and you start enjoying the status of a teenager.
But there’s comes the point when you start experimenting with things you shouldn’t be doing and you start assuming wrong things to be right and it is at this time that your strong supporting system comes to an aid. A strong support system will come to your rescue when you are in real need of it and can drag you out from the world of confusions and illusions.

mi first love ..!!

The biggest myth in this world is to think that love is an involuntary process. According to me it is the strangest phenomenon of the subconscious mind. It is said that there is no reason for falling in love but in my case there was.
I did not fall in love accidentally but I think I wanted it to happen.. May be I subconsciously craved to be in love, just to experience how it feels to have oodles of attention from the opposite sex. But in this process of diving into the ocean of love I lost the power of balancing the brain and the heart , I lost the control over my flooding emotions and expressions, I disobeyed my conscience for which I had to pay a huge cost in form of trust, dignity, self respect and most importantly concentration. Unable to bear the pressures which were compressing the small little lump of mass inside my skull I consciously decided to jump out of this ocean and thankfully there were few people who helped me to do so …. But one can leave his sins behind but it is difficult to wipe the stains of disgrace from one’s character……

i me, myself -- 2

One thing which I have discovered about myself is that I can perform well only when I have the right ambience for it. Off late the thing which is bugging me the most is “why I m not able to reach my own expectation levels” The levels which I have set for my own self. It’s not others expectations that bothers me more but I feel taken aback when I find myself failing to reach my own expectation levels. The answer which I give to myself is I have set some very rigid parameters for myself which are so inadaptable that they become the most convincing excuse to give for my bad performance. Another possible reason may be the kind of environment people have created around me. I feel I have dragged myself into the cobweb, totally against my principles which has resulted in the accidental collapse of my regular performing abilities.
Sometimes it so happens that I feel people who are the most close to me are also miles away from me … the reason again I think are my innumerable prerequisites… As far as my prerequisites are concerned I feel I would never get a person who would perfectly get into the vicinity of my prerequisites.. I can’t assure myself for that because you never know….. Don’t misunderstand my search for a perfect person to be merely related to a romantic liaison but this person can be a friend, a teacher, or may share any kind of relationship with me or may be a mere acquaintance... ironically if he/she fits into this category they wouldn’t remain a mere acquaintance… this theory of prerequisites may sometimes be conceived as arrogance but I know that it’s not arrogance but an integral part of my nature.
In this process of discovering myself I realized that I enjoy solitude to the highest degree. The three things which are the only sources of mental peace and satisfaction according to me are solitude, knowledge and spirituality. The more you explore these arenas the more you start enjoying them….